I invented ‘it’s not you it’s McDLT’
Hollywood can be a cruel mistress. You start out with nothing, eventually land a job in a humiliating commercial, maybe land a guest spot on Newhart, and work your way up from there.
Maybe someday you’ll land a major role on perhaps the best sitcom of all time.
Hopefully, when you do land that role, no one will remember the embarrassing work you did in the past (if, in fact, you are embarrassed by that kind of stuff). If I was Morgan Freeman, for instance, I wouldn’t be too embarrassed by this Listerine commercial.
But if I were Jason Alexander, I would be a little red in the face if someone brought this old commercial to light again.
Would you look at that hair?
Though to be fair, Jason Alexander has much more to be ashamed of than this commercial.
Who owns that moon?
This is a sketch from Kids in the Hall, episode 10 of season 1.
Mark: Hey, see that moon? No, that one there.
Dave and Bruce: Ahh.
Mark: I think that moon is a bit of a spy. Yes I do.
Mark: There was a moon like that on the summer of my sixteenth year. Some say
I was sixteen but, heh, I don’t know. And there was a girl, too; her name was Marie. At night
together, we would walk down by the sea, and, oh my God, if you could’ve seen the body on this woman! The
way at night her long legs would stick into the moist night sand like God’s own barge poles! You
know? And I longed to tell her the feeling I had in my, heart for her, but the words would not
come; they would not come through my spotty adolescent face; they would not come through my
angry hair or my sweaty feet or any other part on this body that I now call a man! So the words
je t’aime were never passed between us. But, that moon, yeah that one there, it spied
on us then, as I think maybe it spies on us tonight, no?
Bruce: The moon is bright, over Lebanon tonight! The Lebanese moon looks down.
Shim! Sham! Shikam! Cattle explodes! Cow shrapnel drips off a tree, cascades into mother’s tear, for
little boy. Who goes on into battle and comes back dead or worse, comes back a man. Why don’t you
warn them moon? Why don’t you say “duck” or “scram?” But the moon will not. The moon just sits there
grinning, like a corpse at a Dean Martin roast. What are you laughing at moon? Why don’t you share
it with the whole class moon?
The moon laughs knowingly.
The moon laughs.
The moon.
The.
Dave: Gee, I wonder who owns that moon?
Mark and Bruce: Yes…yes…yes…yes!
Happy Futurama Day
Today is the official release date of Bender’s Big Score, in case you haven’t been paying attention for the last 10 weeks.
Go get the DVD! Support the arts! Specifically, support the arts that I like!
- Can’t Get Enough Futurama has a bunch of news links about the release, including some Wired articles and video interviews.
- Here’s an unboxing video of Bender’s Big Score with a fun-KAY soundtrack.
- Now would be a great time to review the complete Best of Futurama series here at mgroves.com, since it’s now complete.
- Check out the official Bender’s Big Score site (ilovebender.com) and get yourself a nice Futurama desktop wallpaper.
MST3K Shorts list
MST3K is a great show, but there’s one thing it also is: long.
Luckily for you, the not-quite-there MST3K fan, there are a lot of “shorts” from MST3K episodes.
These are quick films shown right before the movie. They are usually very short, 11-15 minutes or so. The shorts are educational film strips meant for schools or colleges, or even entertainment features meant for theaters. Many of these are the famous 50′s shorts with disembodied, authoritative voices telling you how to groom yourself or why you should be in industrial arts or join the band or something.
cog_nate at MetaFilter has put together a list of all the shorts as well as links to watch them on YouTube or Google Video or whatever. Go watch a few and bookmark that page.
Here’s an example of a fan-favorite short called Mr. B Natural (the most natural B you’ll ever see). It’s a film about how if you feel like a loser, just join the band! Oh yeah, and buy your instrument from Conn Musical Instruments, and you’ll become a happy king?
The white race will salute you as you prance and gad about!
MST3K Google Video update
Someone has been uploading a lot of MST3K episodes to Google Video lately.
Every time I see a new one, I add it to the MST3K video list.
Feel free to send me any omissions.
In the meantime, enjoy my favorite episode: Prince of Space!
Bender’s Big Score preorders
Amazon is now taking preorders for Bender’s Big Score, which is the first of the new Futurama DVDs.
I’ve just placed my order.
I suggest you do the same! For the low, low price of $19.99 for what is essentially 4 brand-new episodes, how can you go wrong? Go ahead! Use your Tricky-Dick fun bill and splurge! Or else he’ll come in to your house at night and wreck up the place, and no one wants that.
Hat tip to Can’t Get Enough Futurama.
Family Guy & The Graduate
As part of my ongoing effort to watch some arbitrary list of essential movies, I just finished watching The Graduate starring Dustin Hoffman.
As I watched the ending sequence, something occurred to me.
The ending sequence of the famous “banned” Family Guy episode (“Wish Upon a Weinstein”), which, by the way, has now been officially shown more times than any other episode of anything ever on Adult Swim (that…is…irony!), is a parody of the ending sequence of The Graduate that I was completely oblivious to until just now.
At about 2:24 in the following clip, the whole sequence is practically identical to The Graduate: the car, running out of gas, yelling and banging on the glass, using the Star of David both as a weapon and a door securing device, right down to the very last scene on the bus.
Keep in mind I’ve been watching this episode over and over for years now and completely missed this!
This is why I love obscure reference comedy: there’s just so much comedy to discover and unearth, and finally “getting” the joke feels like I’ve achieved something.
Knight Rider movie
Is anyone else looking forward to the Knight Rider movie? Despite encouraging uncreative remakes of 80s TV properties, I’m still looking forward to it.
Here’s the poster for the movie, if you haven’t seen it yet:
See, kids? KITT doesn’t have a spoiler, so your 1993 Nissan Stanza doesn’t need one either.
Did you know that K.I.T.T. is an acronym for “Knight Industries Two-Thousand”? The two-thousand was always thrown in back then to make things seem more futurey. Worked on me, but I was just a dopey kid. I have more sophisticated tastes now, so I expect a suffix of at least 3000.
Also, I think this needs to be said, and I’m going to say it: KITT is a Cylon.
It’s pretty obvious, what with the red Cylon eyes LEDs. However, KITT could be a “good” Cylon, like Boomer, or something. I’m not the first to make this observation, of course; I’m just spreading the word!
Anyway, very few old TV shows have been converted into anything except crap on the big screen, with the possible exception of Mission Impossible or Charlie’s Angels (the first one anyway). I’m keeping my fingers crossed for cameos from the Hoff and Mr. Feeny. And KITT better sound British/gay!
Top 10 moments in sitcom history
Everyone has their favorite sitcom, their favorite episode, their favorite moment in sitcom television. Maybe you think the episode of Frasier in which Niles poses as Daphne’s husband. Or maybe the episode of Cheers where Cliff goes on Jeopardy. Maybe you think the Ellen “kiss” episode was a shocking and important event.
Regardless, I have combed the sitcom archives, pulled out the some of the best sitcoms ever made, tossed them into a YouTube meat grinder, and come up with the Top 10 Moments in Sitcom History.
10. I Love Lucy – The conveyor belt
A truly iconic moment in American comedy. There are many moments
from “I Love Lucy” that could be considered great, but this is probably
the one it is most known for.
9. Mary Tyler Moore – It’s a Long Way to Tipperary
A fitting, bittersweet end to perhaps the sweetest sitcom ever
made.
8. Fawlty Towers – The Germans
How do you deal with the touchy postwar relations between England
and Germany? With shocking jokes at the German’s expense, of course!
7. Taxi – Vic Ferrari
Latka took a big stack of American culture and absorbed it into
his being to become the smooth-talking Vic Ferrari.
6. Cosby Show – Ray Charles
Like “I Love Lucy”, there are so many great moments from the Cosby Show.
Rudy lip-syncing the Ray Charles song, “Night Time Is The Right Time” is
not only adorable, it’s hilarious. Cosby is also at his best in this
scene, sporting his trademark facial expressions.
5. Wings – Maybe it was Las Cruces…
Perhaps one of the greatest tertiary characters to ever grace a
sitcom, Carlton Blanchard is both absurdly hilarious and delightfully
annoying. What kind of drugs would they give you if a monkey
bit you?
4. MASH – Henry Blake’s plane crashes
Radar delivers a terrible
message to a shocked O.R. The most moving moment in the entire MASH
run.
3. Newhart – Series ending
At first, it seems like the whole episode has turned into a
“it was all a dream” cop-out episode. As it turns out, it was
all a dream…by a character in another sitcom.
2. Seinfeld – Yadda yadda yadda
It would be impossible to pick the greatest moment in all
of Seinfeld, because almost every episode has at least one
greatest moment. However, the premise of this list is to
pick just one moment. I could easily have picked
the Parking Garage, Serenity Now, Festivus, Muffin Tops,
or any other moment from 10 years of masterpieces. But I
humbly submit to you, dear reader, The Soup Nazi.
1. WKRP in Cincinnati – Flying turkeys
A harmless holiday promotion gone horribly, horribly wrong.
As God as my witness, that’s the list. Did I leave any out?
Futurama update
Spluh! According to Lauren Tom, who voices Amy Wong, the Futurama cast has just finished recording 16 episodes of voice work.
With a target date of December 4th, 2007 for Bender’s Big Score, those Korean chumps and chumpettes better get it in gear before I go upside their head!
Also according to the article, Futurama will have a total of four DVD releases, which will all be reformatted as 16 new episodes for Comedy Central in 2008 (think Stewie Griffin – The Untold Story times 4).
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