mgroves

Posts Tagged ‘prince charles’

Prince Charles is a lot of things: prince, for one. Tool. Dope. Relic. Pompous buffoon.

Let’s add one more thing to that list: dirty old man.

On a related note, the British army has a tank commander. Yowza!

The long-awaited Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie is finally coming to actual theaters. How do I know this? Because the title of the movie is called Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters.

I’ve heard a lot of stuff about this movie up until now–some of which I’m not entirely convinced is true. There was a special 30 minute episode of ATHF this season which included “deleted scenes” from the movie, hosted by Master Shake and Meatwad. It’s very possible that these are real deleted scenes from the movie, but I really have no idea. It probably doesn’t matter that I’m so distrusting of Williams Street, but I am.

In addition, AdultSwim.com released the following trailer:

I guess this is the first minute of the movie. I’m not exactly sure what to expect, but here are some guesses:

• Where the ATHF came from.
• Something to do with Evil Samurai Lincoln.
• Something to do with the Frylock-Dr. Weird relationship that the show has barely hinted at.
• Something about an “immortal piece of exercise equipment threatening the balance of galactic peace”
• Bruce Campbell and Neil Peart (from Rush) doing voices of…who knows
• Hopefully something explaining the end-credit sequence of the show with Lincoln and the wooden rocket and the beards and what not.
• We will find out why ATHF is a 15-minute show, and why it should stay that way.

Whenever Lincoln is used in a comedic setting, it always cracks me up more than it should, I guess because it seems so extra-absurd. To make him “evil” and a “samurai” just takes the cake. I would watch an Evil Samurai Lincoln spin-off, even if it was on Comedy Central and starred Prince Charles.

This movie will not make me break my oath of no longer attending theaters, but I will almost certainly watch it on bootleg and buy the DVD as soon as possible.

P.S., the “language” they are speaking in the trailer is simply what the subtitles say in reverse. Go ahead and check. Neat, huh?

Probably the favorite whipping boy here at mgroves.com is Prince Charles, and for good reason: he’s a smug, self-righteous douchebag. Well, he’s in the news again, and it looks like things haven’t changed.

Prince Charles has put his staff on bicycles, because he wants to be known as the “green prince”. (Perhaps he should visit the nearest witch to become the “frog prince.”)

“Charles will stop using royal helicopters and private jets on official engagements whenever possible.” “He intends to make more use of the royal train…” “Charles has also told aides to find a more environmentally friendly fuel for his fleet of cars.”

SNNNFFFFFFFF….ahhhhhh.

Here’s a recent transcript between myself and my imaginary blog audience, in the style of The Match Game:

Me: In other news, Prince Charles is SUUCH a douchebag…

Audience:: HOW MUCH OF A DOUCHEBAG IS HE?!

Me: He’s such a douchebag that he has his head stuck up his BLANK.

For more irrational hatred towards Prince Charles, check out the new prince charles tag.

Perhaps it’s because he says it so often, or because of his accent or poor public speaking skills, but President Bush gets mocked very often for saying that “terrorists hate our freedom.” Here’s a public protest, that ironically, is made possible through freedom of speech.

Britain’s newspapers have refused to reprint the cartoons, as well as any major newspaper in the US. I’m not in favor of them being published simply to provoke Muslims, both extremist and not, but I’m also not in favor of self-censorship with the goal of being politically correct. The US and Britain are not totalitarian states like Saudi Arabia and Iran, where extremist Muslims are allowed to protest their dissent with the goal of no longer allowing dissent. Sweet, sweet irony.

I’m also glad that ol’ Prince Charles pointed out how intolerant the US is of Islam, where none of these offensive pictures were printed. I’ll say it again: if anything, the US is too tolerant. Maybe Joe Ferguson is right.

Prince Charles does not know when to stop talking. As a loyal and long-time reader of my blog, you will recall that Prince Charles thought that the US “has been too intolerant” of Islam ever since 9/11.

I do value Prince Charles’s opinion and take everything he says to heart (despite the fact that he is not an elected representative of anybody), so I was quick to heed Prince Charles’s latest warning. Prince Charles is concerned that the British are “in danger of becoming as obese as many Americans.” He didn’t even say “most Americans” or “Americans”, he just said “many Americans.” Why pick on this unknown quantity of fat Americans? Not all fat people are Americans. Why didn’t ol’ Princy instead say that the British are “in danger of becoming as obese as a couple of these guys I saw at this record store this one time. Woo, they were fat.”

Henry VIII* said,

O, how wretched
Is that poor man that hangs on princes’ favours!
There is betwixt that smile we would aspire to,
That sweet aspect of princes, and their ruin,
More pangs and fears than wars or women have:
And when he falls, he falls like Lucifer,
Never to hope again.

And I believe it was the entire United States that said in 1776:

Go !@#$ yourself, British monarchy!

So I propose that in a continuation of the Boston Tea Party, that we all eat an extra cheeseburger in honor of Charles, Prince of Wales. It will be a Boston Food Party.

*Technically it was Shakespeare

Here we have a microcosm of the Prince Charles story that I reported about last weekend. Arnold Schwarzenegger, a man with strong Ohio ties, yet still the governor of California will be featured in phone calls to Ohio citizens, urging them to vote for Issue 4, which would take redistricting powers away from elected officials and give them to a court appointed committee. Now, I’m not in favor of Issue 4 at all, but that isn’t the point. Why would an Ohioan care about the opinion of a Californian elected official, over say, another Ohioan. I’m not saying his opinion is invalid, but the outcome of the decision made by people he is trying to influence, does not affect him in the least. Kinda like non-land owners favoring a property tax increase…

According to The Telegraph:

“The Prince of Wales will try to persuade George W Bush and Americans of the merits of Islam this week because he thinks the United States has been too intolerant of the religion since September 11.”

Isn’t that nice. Remind me again why it’s any of his business how “tolerant” the US is of anything? Did we elect him to something? Did anyone elect him to represent anyone?

If the United States is anything, it’s too tolerant. We use random searches instead of racial profiling at airports security check points. Not because it makes sense for security, but because we want to be tolerant, and politically correct, and we don’t want Muslims to feel that they are being lumped in with the minority of terrorist nutjobs. We haven’t set up internment camps. Our borders are still open to just about anyone. Islam is still allowed to build mosques wherever the hell they want, worship openly, write Muslim newsletters, protest in the streets, whatever. If anyone needs a message of “tolerance,” it’s the nutcase terrorists who want to strike again. Perhaps ol’ Charles can go do some spots on al-Jazeera?