mgroves

Posts Tagged ‘culture’

I find Shakespeare so hard to read, and yet I find his writing so eloquent, beautiful, and well crafted. What am I to do?

Buy some Shakespeare Made Easy books, that’s what!

Shakespeare Made Easy is a series of “translations” of Shakespeare into modern English. That alone isn’t what I’m looking for–I want to enjoy Shakespeare, not pass a class. What makes these books good, is that the translation is side-by-side with the original English. Which means you can appreciate the craftsmanship of Shakespeare’s words while simulataeously understanding what the heck he is saying. Genius!

Here’s an example:

Let’s assume it’s possible to create an artificially intelligent machine, ala science fiction. What if this AI became malevolent? Why not limit its communication to a single chat with only the original programmer until safety is assured.

In that situation, it’s speculated that a sufficiently smart AI can talk its way out of its “box”, because humans are not secure.

Is this possible? Well, there’s one way to test: instead of an actual AI, use a human to simulate AI (almost like a reverse Turing Test). If a human is told not to let the AI out of the box, can a human posing as an AI convince the human to let him out of the box?

The opposing viewpoint is so: “There is no chance I could be persuaded to let the AI out. No matter what it says, I can always just say no. I can’t imagine anything that even a transhuman could say to me which would change that.”

This experiment has been run on two occasions, both resulting in the human letting the AI out of the box:

• First time
• Second time

However, this test is very suspicious for a number of reasons. First, Eliezer Yudkowsky, the guy who proposed this test in the first place, is the one simulating the AI in both cases. Second, the actual chat transcripts between the “transhuman AI” and the human are not publically available (as far as I know).

But let’s assume for a minute that there are no shenanigans going on. A human knowingly participating in this experiment, knowing the objective, knowing the stakes, and yet letting the AI out anyway is a frightening prospect. What does this say about humans-as-weakest-link in IT security, let alone the nature of humanity?

More importantly, what could an AI, restricted solely to a single one-on-one chat room with you, possibly say to convince you to let him out of his box?

You might ask, “what’s with this unhealthy fixation on the Food Network, Groves?”

“Why don’t you get out of your parents basement and go get laid?” you might also ask, if you were a tool.

I’ll tell you: my wife watches this network constantly, because she loves to cook. It’s really quite a crisis: I love my wife’s cooking, but I hate the media vehicle she has latched on to. Thus, I must vent my hatred so that I will not slice my own eyes out when the Food channel is on.

Another defense mechanism is a drinking game that I’ve invented for myself. The Food Network isn’t much more enjoyable drunk, but it takes the edge off.

Play along at home!

Sip:

• Whenever a host starts smashing garlic.
• Whenever there’s a discussion about canned vs. fresh ingredients.
• Whenever there’s a vegetable chopping sequence. WE GET IT. CHOPPING VEGETABLES. GREAT.
• A host begins a sentence with a preposition. “To this, we add one tablespoon of vanilla extract.” Stock up on booze if Sandra Lee is on.
• Whenver Paula Deen deep fries something or covers something in gravy.
• When Marc Summers uses unnecessary alliteration and dramatic pauses.

Drink:

• When a host that normally has a plain American accent pronounces a type of food in some other accent. For example: “Now, I’m going to put some MOOTS-UH-RAIL-UH into the pan. Because I’m suddenly Italian, you see!”
• When an ingredient is added because it “really brings out the flavor of” something.
• The host uses fresh herbs from their in-kitchen garden. WHO DOES THIS (besides my wife)?
• Whenever a host adds lemon juice by squeezing a lemon over his hand to catch any seeds, and then tells you that he’s squeezing the lemon over his hand to catch any seeds.

Guzzle:

• One cook appears on another cook’s show (Iron Chef and The Next Food Network Star don’t count).
• Whenever the Neeleys start to molest eachother. Yes, they do it a lot. Yes, I still think this should be under “guzzle”.
• Marc Summers actually touches or (gasp!) eats the food on display in front of him.

Hook up an IV:

• Christopher Walken actually gets a Food Network show. This would likely be my favorite show ever.
• Alton Brown finally admits the computer screens in front of him on Iron Chef are just props and don’t actually do anything.
• If Guy Fieri dresses and acts like an adult professional in any of his shows.

If you are watching anything but Barefoot Contessa, prepare to be drinking. A LOT.

I saw someone with a “Normal people worry me” bumper sticker tonight.

In the land of bumper stickers, let’s be clear: there are many, many offenses. I would wager that close to 90% of bumper stickers might as well say “LOOK AT ME I’M STUPID”. Crap, I’ve even got some hideous Cincinnati Reds stickers on my rear window that I’m just too lazy to remove. The “normal” bumper sticker is not an exception to the hideous wasteland of bumper signage.

Let’s look at one, shall we?

The implication here is that the driver is not normal, and, in a deliciously hilarious twist, finds that normal is weird (and/or worrisome).

Fine. Except that I would wager that 95% of people with “Normal People Worry Me” stickers are the very definition of normal. They drive a car (obviously), shop at Kroger, probably have average intelligence, hang out with their zany friends at Applebees after work, watch reality TV shows, and use the phrase “beg the question” incorrectly.

So, what, then, makes this person think that they are so unnormal as to consider purchasing this sticker? Sheer ignorance. Therefore, I present to you, dear reader, this handy guide that can help you to tell if you qualify to own this sticker or not.

(Feel free to come up with your own examples and leave a comment below).

In summary, you aren’t special, especially if you have a sticker that says you are. For this reason, anyone who buys this sticker and displays it non-ironically is someone that I hate with the fire of 1000 suns, and they will burn in the lake of fire.

I officially declare this slogan OVER.

Vegas, you can still use it in your ads if you must, but you are on probation.

Everyone else, stop.

Seriously. Stop.

I promise that this site isn’t turning into some celebrity obituary site, but what kind of nerd blog would this be if I didn’t mention the passing of Gary Gygax?

He’s best known as the inventor of Dungeons and Dragons (aka Satan’s Game), which has been entertaining and will entertain generations of nerds.

He is also a member of the Vice Presidential Action Rangers (pictured above), and his death is likely a cover for his covert operations involved in protecting the space time continuum.

I’d make a pun about saving throws and 2D6, but I never actually played D&D (I was more of a CCG nerd), so I’ll spare you.

A true renaissance man and a personal hero of mine, William F. Buckley, Jr. died today at the age of 82.

“I will not cede more power to the state. I will not willingly cede more power to anyone, not to the state, not to General Motors, not to the CIO. I will hoard my power like a miser, resisting every effort to drain it away from me. I will then use my power, as I see fit. I mean to live my life an obedient man, but obedient to God, subservient to the wisdom of my ancestors; never to the authority of political truths arived at yesterday at the voting booth. That is a program of sorts, is it not? It is certainly program enough to keep conservatives busy, and Liberals at bay. And the nation free.”

I was fortunate to see Buckley in person as an undergrad at Ohio University during the Kennedy lecture series, and I will never forget the incredible command he had on the English language and the ability to answer questions so thoroughly, and yet so concisely. You can listen to a recording of a similar lecture here.

I can only hope to obtain a hundredth of the brilliance, eloquence, and intelligence of Bill Buckley in my lifetime. I can only pray that the flower of the conservative movement of which he planted and watered does not wither.

“One of the many major problems with governing people is that of whom you get to do it; or rather of who manages to get people to let them do it to them.”

“To summarize: it is a well-known fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it.”

“To summarize the summary: anyone capable of getting themselves made President should by no means be allowed to do the job.”

“To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem.”

Today, Fred Thompson has quit the presidential race. Maybe someone will pick him up as a VP candidate as a token gesture to the real conservatives. Or maybe Obama will pick him us a VP candidate to truly express his “post-partisan” politics.

*Sigh*

I’ve mentioned this essay several times to friends and collegues in the past, so I thought it might be interesting to post it here.

This essay was written by a German born professor who has lived in the US since 1992.

It’s called A subjective comparison of Germany and the United States, and while he puts the word “subjective” in the title, and I think that point should be stressed, I think most of his observations are fair. While I certainly think the USA is a great country and I feel very lucky for living here, it is by no means a paradise (nor is any country for that matter).

I think there’s a line from the essay that sums things up pretty well: I’d say naive optimism characterizes the American mentality and deliberate, hesitant pessimism the German one.

I find this essay particularly interesting not just because of the typical Europe-North America differences one might expect, but because of the unique history of Germany, especially in WW2, and it’s affect on the current culture.

Note that the author isn’t really expressing a preference here, or endorsing one country over the other, but merely listing differences. He certainly does inject his opinion in many places, politics included, but as I’ve stated before, everyone and almost everything has a bias, and the author makes no bones about that.

Also note that this essay isn’t exactly recent. Therefore, some things might have changed (in both countries) since it was written.

It’s poetry appreciation day here at mgroves.com.

Enjoy one of my favorite poems, “A Psalm of Life” by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow–in audio or textual form.

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