January 27th, 2006 | 
Author: Prince Charles does not know when to stop talking. As a loyal and long-time reader of my blog, you will recall that Prince Charles thought that the US “has been too intolerant” of Islam ever since 9/11.
I do value Prince Charles’s opinion and take everything he says to heart (despite the fact that he is not an elected representative of anybody), so I was quick to heed Prince Charles’s latest warning. Prince Charles is concerned that the British are “in danger of becoming as obese as many Americans.” He didn’t even say “most Americans” or “Americans”, he just said “many Americans.” Why pick on this unknown quantity of fat Americans? Not all fat people are Americans. Why didn’t ol’ Princy instead say that the British are “in danger of becoming as obese as a couple of these guys I saw at this record store this one time. Woo, they were fat.”
Henry VIII* said,
O, how wretched
Is that poor man that hangs on princes’ favours!
There is betwixt that smile we would aspire to,
That sweet aspect of princes, and their ruin,
More pangs and fears than wars or women have:
And when he falls, he falls like Lucifer,
Never to hope again.
And I believe it was the entire United States that said in 1776:
Go !@#$ yourself, British monarchy!
So I propose that in a continuation of the Boston Tea Party, that we all eat an extra cheeseburger in honor of Charles, Prince of Wales. It will be a Boston Food Party.
*Technically it was Shakespeare
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I’m a fat american but I’d rather be fat then look like that big eared fking rat looking fker.
British people are more intelligent than us (Just listen to them! They all sound like Gandalf!) – so he probably made the right call.
British people are usually very smart and not fat. I mean, just look at Benny Hill!