This is the Weekend Update for the weekend of September 28th – 30th.
Missed the last Weekend Update? Check out the Weekend Update archives.
Well, the big event this weekend was the air show. My father, brother-in-law, and I all went to the Gathering of Mustangs and Legends at Rickenbacker airport. This was a really good show.
First, the most amazing thing I saw there was a demonstration of the 5th generation fighter plane, the F-22 Raptor. You know those lights in the sky that conspiracy nuts claim are alien ships because of the way they dance in sky that seems impossible? Yeah, those were the Raptors. This YouTube video of the Raptor does not do it justice. This plane basically flew backwords, did a turn on its nose, and made the tighest turns I’ve ever seen. It can do an Immelmann so fast and tight that it could literally flip around behind a fighter chasing it. It can reach Mach 1 without afterburners. Oh yeah, did I mention it was stealth too? Enemy targets have no chance.
The best part of the show, however, was the incredible collection of World War 2 planes that were there, especially Mustangs. We got to see a lot of them fly, which was so cool. I actually got to go up inside of a B-17, which is probably my favorite WW2 plane. Those things look big, but they are incredibly cramped. I imagine that it was a pretty intense experience to be in one of these things in combat.
The most ridiculously awesome part of the show was the simulated strafing/bombing runs that the classic planes did. Go ahead and read that last sentence again. A bunch of the WW2 planes made passes on the runway, and explosives/pyrotechnics would go off on the ground to simulate what their ground attacks would be like.
One of the two remaining Lancasters is the world was at this show. The largest bomb that the British ever constructed in WW2 was made especially for this bomber’s large capacity. It was called the Grand Slam bomb. The simulation of the Grand Slam bomb may not have been entirely accurate, but I think that’s only because they erred on the side of safety. If this picture had sound, it would be a thousand people screaming HOLY !@#$. I think when they “dropped” it, I pooped a little.
It turns out that my dad was stationed at this same airport when he was in the Air Force, so I got to see a lot of the base and stuff too. I also got to see the type of cargo plane that my brother has leaped out of for no good reason.
The other major thing that I did this weekend was go to the Funny Bone comedy club here in Columbus to see Adam Ferrara. He’s not my favorite comedian or anything, but he’s very funny, and I really enjoyed it. The opening comedian was Rob Little, who was very funny too. The MC was the guy who hosted (and still hosts) open mic night at the Funny Bone. He is a bitter, angry man (it’s not just his act), and I don’t really like him. He is pretty good at getting the audience warmed up, though.
How would you like to design your own credit card? Put your favorite JPG of Rick Astley on it!
Or maybe you just want the broccoli dog?
Well, probably you can’t do that, because there are a lot of restrictions, especially on copyrighted material (and take it from me, that’s not a road to go down).
But you can upload a picture of yourself, or your house, or your dog, or whatever. Actually, what you can also do, and what I have done, is play with the card designer.
The card is called PAYjr Visa Buxx, and it may be the worst possible name for a credit card ever. It’s geared towards parents who want to give their kids a credit card (for whatever reason), and kids who want cool stuff on their credit card. But as far as I know, there’s no reason why adults can’t use the thing.
This one is my favorite, I think. I call it “Hungarian porn star” or “Captain Kirkish”.
I think this card would totally creep people out. If not, just breathe heavily while signing the receipt and silently staring at the cashier. Always works for me!
This next card works well at the hospital, unless you are paying for Lupus-related expenses.
So go buy a PAYjr Visa Buxx card as a gift for you niece or something already! Put a picture of a pony on it–girls like ponies.
A letter from YouTube…
Federal law requires that we terminate accounts when they are found to
repeatedly infringe copyright. Because you have had other videos rejected
in the past, we are unable to reinstate your account.
The YouTube Team
Now is your chance to ask me anything you want and have it answered.
Submit a comment below with a question: any question at all. It could be trivial and easy, or it could be metaphysical and difficult.
Here are some sample questions and answers, just to get your started:
Question: Why did you get into blogging? Answer: Because I don’t like you.
Question: Could you please explain what a Turing machine is and why I should care? Answer: Well, you see Mr. Reader…[blah blah 10 page answer]
Question: What is your favorite color? Answer: Five.
Question: Why do you Rethuglicans eat children and steal medications from my Grandmother? Answer: Eh, it’s something to do.
Seriously though, ask me anything, and then I’ll do a follow-up post to answer some or all of the questions. I promise that I’ll do my best to give a serious answer. I won’t promise that there won’t be a sarcastic component to my answers. I also won’t not promise that there won’t not be a not serious answer to your questions. Not.
Ask anything you want, and ask as many questions as you want.
Missed the last Tuesday Tube? Head over to the tag search for ‘tuesday tube’ and browse through the archives.
This week, in the proud tradition of Ollie vs. Norton, Kramer vs. Kramer, and Godzilla vs. Megalon, I give you: Animal versus!
First up, Falcon vs. Deer. Don’t mess with falcons I guess. Yowza.
Dog vs. Sleep, or Hot Diggity Narcolepsy.
Cat vs. Gate with special slowmo instant replay.
Dog vs…missing limbs?
Duck vs. Sea Monster (who ate my ice cream).
And finally, Bear vs. Tree vs. Trampoline in a special three way match.
BONUS TUBE: Since today is the official release of Halo 3, I present to you: the face of Mister Chef.
Welcome to a new mgroves.com mini-series, The Best Moments of Futurama.
I’m a huge Futurama fan, so I’ll be counting down to the release of the all-new Futurama DVD, Bender’s Big Score, set to be released on November 27, 2007.
If you are both a Futurama fan and user of the interpipes (which you no doubt are if you have read this far), then you are probably familiar with the famed 25 Best Futurama Moments Ever. If you haven’t seen it, go check it out.
I’m not going to recreate that list in this countdown. Rather, I’ve painstakingly compiled 9 clips that showcase the funniest, most emotional, and most entertaining moments from my experience watching it in reruns for the last however many years.
Let’s start it off with a bang, shall we? Counting up from #9.
9. Zoidberg abuse.
If lobster-men had hair, Zoidberg’s would no doubt be red, and his parents would probably be remarried. No one seems to like him. He’s severely underpaid, insulted, and dumped on for no reason. Here’s a montage of my favorite Zoidberg abuses.
In the end, Zoidberg’s popularity was only stifled by the presence of Bender, Leela, and Fry.
This is the Weekend Update for the weekend of September 21st – 23rd.
Missed the last Weekend Update? Check out the Weekend Update archives.
Pretty quiet around here this weekend.
I’ve been working on a new mini-series of posts leading up to the new Futurama DVD release, highlighting some of my favorite moments from the show. I hope you enjoy it.
I might actually end up going back to Philadelphia this year for a cousin’s wedding. I’m not looking forward to another road trip, especially since I swore them off last summer, and I’ve already made too many exceptions.
Skybus, the Columbus-based cheapity-cheap airline has just added another 4 destinations. One of these days I’ll get around to actually giving them a try.
Baseball season is winding down, unfortunately, and College Football is just winding up. The Reds have recovered somewhat from their dismal start, and have put in a respectible second-half record. It’s almost officially 16 years since their last World Series trip. I’m not getting any younger here, guys. How about at least 1 more World Series for me, and 1 more for my future son? Is that doable? I mean, c’mon guys.
This is an awesome animated GIF I found on Coding Horror that visually demonstrates the run time of three different sort algorithms on the same data set. It would be cool to see this sort of GIF for bubble sort, bogosort, etc.
Ali & I had dinner with some family at a restaurant on Buckeye Lake. There was a live musician there, Brad Moore who played “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”. When he finished playing it, he asked if anyone knew who originally sang it, and if anyone guessed right, they’d win a free CD. Being the master of useless knowledge, I knew the answer and won a copy of the guy’s CD. He’s another acoustic guitar player in an ocean of them, but he seems to be a very talented and nice guy who doesn’t take himself too seriously, so check him out if you get the chance. He brought a trash can on stage with a “tips” sign on it, which I thought was a bit optimistic. Nothing wrong with that though, the world need more optimism! Here’s a quick sample:
I had some dishwasher problems this weekend, and I was on the verge of (finally) getting the new one that I’ve wanted for years. But no, I took the thing apart and found something clogging up the works. Plumbing sucks.
I was introduced to a “new” band through several different channels in the last month.
They are an English ska band called “Madness”, and though that may not ring a bell, I’m sure you’ve heard one of their songs before.
First, when I was in Philadelphia, a friend took me to this great toy store in New Jersey called The House of Fun. You should definitely go if you are ever in the area. But anyway, they have this Madness song on their website:
Madness – House of Fun:
Okay, good. Not a bad song. Next, I came across a video for another Madness song on Youtube. I hadn’t connected the two songs yet. This song got me really interested in the band.
Madness – One Step Beyond:
So finally, after looking them up on Wikipedia, I searched for a Greatest Hits album. And guess what, there was one more Madness song that I had heard before, and you probably have too.
Madness – Our House:
So I finally connected all of these fine songs to one source, and now I have a new band on my playlist!
Brett Somers died on the morning of September 15, 2007 of stomach and colon cancer at her home in Westport, Connecticut.
Her obituary is available at BrettSomers.com.
Brett Somers, are you out there…?
Here’s who remains of the 6 Match Game All-Stars in the above cast:
- Betty White
- Fannie Flagg
I’ve got a neighbor that I can’t stand.
I’ve listed my grievances on Rotten Neighbor, a Google Maps mash-up that is supposed to assist you with finding a good neighborhood, but is actually just a place to vent frustrations.
But venting there wasn’t enough. Here is my list of grieveances:
- Loud motorcycle. I understand that motorcycles can be loud, and I have no problem with motorcycles or motorcycle drivers. What I have a problem with is 10 minutes of revving the engine as loud as it can for no good reason, while sitting in your driveway.
- Unsafe motorcycling. I don’t care about his safety, of course. I hope he falls off and gets brain damage. But I’m talking about him tearing out of his driveway at ridiculous speeds in a residential (25 mph) neighborhood. He’s going to hit a kid or someone’s car, or me, I just know it.
- Car stereos. Him and his…wife? girlfriend? nappy-headed ho?…both have unnecessarily loud stereos in their car. I wouldn’t mind if I had to hear it for like 20 seconds while they pull into their garage. Not at all. But sometimes he’s gotta pull out of his garage to wash it or let it run for no reason or whatever, and he’s gotta crank it up to 11 for a good two hours or more. I asked him once to turn it down, and he said, AND I QUOTE: “If I feel like it.”
- Bratty kid. This kid is always wandering around in the street when I’m driving. Not to mention the fireworks he and his dopey friends put in my mailbox. With my mail.
To give you an idea of what this guy looks like, I present to you this picture analysis:
Who he thinks he is:
Who I think he is:
What I wish he actually was:
I hope he and his household are eaten by mutant sharks. From Mars.
Yes, I’m an uptight, passive agressive, oversensitive white man–with 1 lousy neighbor in a otherwise good neighborhood.